When God Speaks: Keyshia Cole Learned Alot From Jabez...And Maybe You Could Too (I Chronicles)

When God Speaks:“Keyshia Cole Learned Alot From Jabez…And Maybe We Could Too”
December 7, 2008

Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, "I gave birth to him in pain."Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request. – I Chronicles 4:9-10

I came home from church and, thanks to one of my friend’s Facebook status updates, found myself catching up on this season’s episodes of the Keyshia Cole show on BET. For those of you who are not familiar with Lady Cole, she is my generation’s equivalent of Mary J. Blige. Her songs, which mirror her life’s extraordinary experiences, soundtrack the average 20something sistah’s life today. One episode struck a chord with me. Keyshia called her pastor into her home to help heal the rift between her sister and her mother; their relationship, to say the least, is toxic at times. Noticing the burden of “fixing” this particular parent/sibling dyad was weighing heavily on her, Keyshia’s pastor spoke something that resonated with her…and me: “You can’t be wings for everybody.” He told her that just like God had given her the ability to walk into her destiny, He’s able to do the same for them. Keyshia resolved that she’d live her own life, hoping that the opportunities she’d given her family would be enough for them to search for their own healing.

There’s not much said about Jabez but I wonder if that was his attitude, as well. We know his home situation was not the best- his mother named him as a result of the discomfort he brought and his brothers must’ve been just…bad. I wonder what it took to get Jabez to pray a prayer like that. He didn’t think about his mother; he didn’t think about his brothers; he only prayed for himself. Did he keep trying to get his brothers to lead better lives and it just didn’t work? Did he want his mother to move past the pain he’d caused at birth to see what he’d done since then but she refused? Did he just decide that the most effective way to help them was to be the best Jabez he could be?

The beauty of Jabez’s prayer is that God gave him what he asked for. He enlarged his territory and kept His hand on his life. Because I know that Jabez loved God, I know he understood that God didn’t do that just for him; He did it for his mother and his brothers. Keyshia, as well, has been able to provide an opportunity for a better life for her family. But that’s just it- all you can do is provide the opportunity. It’s up to others to take advantage of it. Everyone has their own Jabez prayer to pray.

I turn 27 on Thursday. I was told the greatest gift I could ask for and receive is wisdom. As one who answers every call and responds to every text message, I’m learning that you can’t be everything to everybody. People will lean on you because they’re afraid to stand on their own. You wonder what your responsibility is to them in those situations. It is simply to point out their God-given wings and encourage them to fly; they can use them or not. Either way you’re in the skies, soaring.

©BirthRight, 2008