November 30, 2008
When the priests withdrew from the Holy Place, the cloud filled the temple of the LORD. And the priests could not perform their service because of the cloud, for the glory of the LORD filled his temple. Then Solomon said, "The LORD has said that he would dwell in a dark cloud; I have indeed built a magnificent temple for you, a place for you to dwell forever." – I Kings 8: 10-13
There are times when I have so many questions for God and I want to get the answers in a place where only He can speak to me. I had one of those times, recently. I thought about this year. I asked Him why He took Dimera. I asked Him why my cousin was still being held for a crime everyone knows he didn’t commit. I asked Him why I had been taken to a place to make a difference and uprooted six months later. I asked Him why from my eyes had to flow tears of frustration. I asked Him why people would set out to hurt me because of where He wanted to take me in life. I asked Him why He brought me back to Winston Salem and doesn’t seem like He’s allowing me to leave. I asked Him why He’d call me to help push other people into their purpose and destiny and it was becoming so painful to walk into my own. I asked Him why it seemed that my role was to always be the celebrator and not the celebrated. I laid across my bed, sobbing. There was no longer a need for words. In silence, I communed with God.
The group of people I’ve come to admire most in life, these days, are the worshippers. They recognize that it is important to develop a relationship with God that sustains them. Despite where they are in my life, worship was the one constant. It enables them to articulate their heart beyond just considering their actions. I understand that worship is a lifestyle. You breathe it; it fills your lungs when disappointment has taken all the air out of them. You walk it; it somehow causes your stride to continue when hurt would dare you to move again. You speak it; it becomes the words that fear would attempt to erase. Despite our imperfections, despite our shortcomings, despite our mistakes, despite it all: We are worship and worship is us.
The beauty about true worship is that good can be seen in all things. So I thanked God for this year. I told him that, though I didn’t understand why He took Dimera, I know He makes no mistakes. For that, I thanked Him. I thanked Him because He’s perfecting His work in my cousin through this ordeal. I praised Him for moving me from a place when my assignment was over and people didn’t appreciate Him in me. I honored Him for my tears because for each of them, He gives me strength and wisdom to accept what He allows. I thanked Him for the table He prepares for me in the very presence of my enemies. I told Him I would go wherever He sends me because His will is what I want for my life. I thanked Him for trusting me enough to help people see Him in what they’re called to do. I honored Him for celebrating me by letting me wake up this morning. I laid across my bed, smiling. There was no longer a need for words. In silence, I communed with God.
That’s what happened when He filled my temple. What happened when He filled yours?
©BirthRight, 2008
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